Is Mick Cronin Conspiring With The Burrito Cronies?

[OhVarsity! illustration]

On Tuesday morning, Mick Cronin was asked about not having a player named to All-AAC First Team. What followed is what many saw as a humorous quote:

Cronin refuses to be upset about no #Bearcats named 1st team All-AAC:
'It's not like you get a free trip to Hothead Burrito with that.'

— Tom Groeschen (@TomGroeschen) March 7, 2017

It may sound cute and funny on the surface, but I find it sickening. Why did he not mention Chipotle? Or Qdoba? Or Cincinnati’s own Currito? There’s only one explanation here, folks.

Mick Cronin is being paid off by the burrito fat cats! Disgusting, especially just days after making national headlines by criticizing the NCAA Tournament selection committee for changing seeds in order to generate more revenue. It would appear Mr. Cronin is as two-faced as they come. While one hand is giving the middle finger to the money-hungry boys of the NCAA, the other is clinched full of dirty burrito money. Makes me wonder what he was really doing in 2015 when he stepped away from the team for “health reasons.” A likely story. If you ask me, he was whisked off to Bohemian Grove for initiation into the Tex-Mex Mafia. And here we all thought Mick was our compadre. Say it ain’t so, muchacho.

I’ve talked to others (who will not be named) who think the trickery runs even deeper. Some people are saying this. I don’t know if it’s true, but it’s the information I was given. Here it goes:

Hot Head Burrito was founded in March 2007 — the end of Mick “Refried Bean Boy” Cronin’s first season in Cincinnati. The shysters in the head office knew they needed to make a splash, and they chose Cronin to be their pawn. They cut a check ($1 million dollars, I’m hearing) in exchange for Mick becoming a hot head.

By all accounts, Mick is a wonderful man and father. Doesn’t it seem a bit strange that he’s earned a reputation as a hot head on the court? Seems a bit out of character, no? It’s almost as if someone were paying him to build this persona before dropping the “Hothead Burrito” quote we see above. Hmm…Marketing jackpot by these tricksters! I rest my case. Please share so everyone can know the truth. Mick may need our help.

Well guys, thanks for reading. I have a degree in journalism.