The Idiot’s Guide to National Signing Day 2017

The Bearcats haven’t played a football game since November, but the coaching change and Top 15 basketball team have whisked us through December and January and we’ve arrived at National Signing Day.

I’ve always had a weird relationship with National Signing Day. On one hand, I love a good excuse to camp on Twitter all day and wait for good Bearcats news to trickle in. On the other hand, I’m not a football scout and don’t closely follow football recruiting. Unlike with basketball, there’s typically an annoying wait between NSD and the moment a coveted recruit finally makes an impact on the field. For that reason, I rarely get wrapped up in scouting reports and 40 times. I still want to know who the Bearcats are adding, so the first Wednesday in February is typically devoted to me learning a few useless facts about each signee. For the first time, I’ll be sharing it with you.

Without further ado, The Idiot’s Guide to National Signing Day. A guide for idiots. Made by an idiot.

This will update as the signings roll in. Keep checking back.

(thecrescentbuzz.com)

Jaelen Greene, running back

Sandy Creek | GA

Chose UC over Western Michigan, Marshall, and ECU
Graduating from the same high school as former Bearcat WR Alex Chisum and retired Lions WR Calvin Johnson
Runs a verified 4.38 40
Thing I will say at some point: “Folks, I call that touchdown Jill Stein because it’s a Greene Party in the end zone.”

(Dayton Daily News)

Cody Lamb, offensive tackle

Miamisburg | OH

Chose UC over Toledo, Marshall, Air Force, ECU, and UConn
One of WCPO’s 50 Area Players To Watch
From the same town as the guy who scored the NFL’s first TD
Thing Jon Gruden would say about him: “His name may be Lamb, but he sure doesn’t play like one!”

Blake Yager, offensive tackle

Iowa Western CC | IA

Chose UC over West Virginia, Western Michigan, and East Carolina
Apparently likes schools with directions in their name (should we question his committment to Cincinnati?!)
He’s 6'5" and 300lbs, which is bigger than me.
Just kidding about questioning you, Blake.

Desmond Ridder, quarterback

St. Xavier | KY

Graduating from St. Xavier, but not that St. Xavier.
Imagine how insufferable I would be if his last name were Riddler instead of Ridder and he made a big play. You guys dodged a bullet.
He’s a dual threat QB, which I’ve always felt like is a football cheat code. I mean, either be good at throwing or running. Choose one. Both? Okay.

(tristatefootball.com)

Jarell White, defensive back

LaSalle | OH

Chose UC over Iowa, Pitt, Illinois, Kentucky, and Purdue
Highest-rated Cincinnati-area commit since 2009 (Chris Williams)
Played RB in high school and scored 37 total TDs on a team that won three-consecutive state titles
Graduating from the same high school as Mick Cronin and Brent Celek
His name is super close to Jaleel White, the actor who played Steve Urkel

(therepublicphotos.com)

Wil Huber, tight end

Franklin Central | IN

Chose UC over Air Force, Ohio, and Ball State
Has a 4.1 GPA
Hates losing so much that he only has one “L” in his first name

Javan Hawes, wide receiver

Sandy Creek | GA

Chose UC over Minnesota, Temple, ECU, and Purdue
Graduating from the same high school as former Bearcat WR Alex Chisum and retired Lions WR Calvin Johnson
Looks… eerily… like a young Oscar Robertson

(Ben Ennis)

Marquese Taylor, defensive back

Lovejoy | GA

Chose UC over California, Colorado State, and East Carolina
Sorry, still hung up on how cool Lovejoy sounds
Graduating from the same high school as former Georgia Tech standout running back Tashard Choice
His home town has an outlet mall listed under “Attractions”, so I’m thinking it’s not a super crazy place
The defensive backs in this recruiting class are absolutely absurd

(Journal-News)

Cole Smith, kicker

Middletown | OH

Graduating from the same high school as former Bearcats safety Zach Edwards
If a recruit is named Cole, you pretty much know he’s a kicker. If you catch my drift.
Probably the best Twitter game in this recruiting class.
I bet he could kick a 65-yard field goal, but I’m not gonna tell Fickell to let him try, because I got blocked by the last coach for doing that.

(fridaynightohio.com)

Vincent McConnell, offensive tackle

Massillon | OH

Chose UC over Toledo, Army, Syracuse, and Bowling Green
From the same town as Paul & Mike Brown, Bob Knight, and the inventor of the open-web steel joist
The photo I chose isn’t really the most flattering from a football perspective, but it’s the best I could find. Sorry.

(usatodayhss.com)

RJ Potts, linebacker

Fishers | IN

Chose UC over Notre Dame, Nebraska, Mizzou, Indiana, and Purdue
Dad played fullback in the NFL
Highest-rated UC football commit since 2011 (Jameel Poteat)
Led his high school team in tackles as a freshman
From the same town (Fishers, IN) as UC sprinter Khalid Fuller
Reggie Miller owned a house in Fishers, IN before it was destroyed by an arsonist in May 1997

(Columbus Dispatch)

Darrick Forrest, defensive back

Walnut Ridge | OH

Chose UC over Ohio, Ball State, and Miami (OH)
He’s from Columbus and was primarily recruited by Luke Fickell, so I’m gonna trust he’s good
His high school’s nickname was the Scots. Interested to see how he performs on a team with an actual nickname.

(Tampa Bay Times)

Rashaad Stewart, defensive back

Clearwater Central Catholic | FL

Chose UC over Louisville, Vanderbilt, Marshall, and Boston College
Hulk Hogan’s daughter briefly went to this high school.
Clifton isn’t as warm as Clearwater. I hope he’s ready.

(tristatefootball.com)

Kyle Bolden, linebacker

Colerain | OH

Chose UC over Maryland, Marshall, Western Michigan, Indiana, and Illinois
Graduating from the same high school as former UC WR Dominick Goodman
Looks poised to be UC’s next Travis Kelce 😍
Has the same name as Stevie Wonder’s guitarist, but probably has never played guitar with Stevie Wonder

(Cleveland.com)

Jabari Taylor, defensive lineman

Archbishop Hoban | OH

Chose UC over Akron
Graduating from Archbisop Hoban, where they have “Mum Day.” On the Friday of the week Hoban plays St. Vincent-St. Mary (LeBron’s HS) the students and teachers are silent from the time they enter the building until the afternoon pep rally.
Weighs more than LeBron.

(247sports.com)

Ben Hutch, defensive lineman

Hillsboro | TN

Chose UC over Louisville, Penn State, Ole Miss, Nebraska, Tennessee, Texas A&M, and Kentucky
Listed at 6’3” 315lbs — is huge.
Graduating from the same high school as director Harmony Korine, musician Brandon Heath, and the guitarist from Limp Bizkit.
The word “hutch” sometimes refers to that piece of furniture that’s like a set of cabinets with a desk in it. I’m not really sure. Anyways, I think Ben Hutch is bigger than that kind of hutch.

(ScoutingOhio.com)

Trent Cloud, wide receiver

Bedford | OH

Chose UC over Wisconsin, Toledo, and Marshall
Graduating from the same high school as Halle Berry and former Bills WR Lee Evans
From the same high school as Bearcats defensive end Marquise Copeland
I can tell by his last name that he’s got soft hands. Great for a WR.

(CandGnews.com)

Lorenzo McCaskill, linebacker

Southfield | MI

Chose UC over Western Michigan, Toledo, and Purdue
From the same hometown as former Bearcat Connor Barwin
Graduating from the same high school as former Bearcat Leviticus Payne, which means the Bearcats have gotten two defensive players from Southfield: One “pain” and one “kill”. Great intangibles

Jakari Robinson, offensive lineman

Munford | AL

Scout.com once speculated that he could be the best center in Alabama
UC is roughly 35x more populated than his hometown.
The Bearcats now have a Jakari and a Jabari in this recruiting class, which proves Cincinnati is untouchable when it comes to great names.

(Toledo Blade)

Michael Warren, running back

Toledo Central Catholic | OH

Chose UC over Minnesota, Iowa, Iowa State, Boston College, and Kentucky
Ohio Mr. Football 2016
Based on 247Sports’ rating of 92, he’s the highest-rated signing in this class (per that publication)
Graduating from the same high school as Gene Kranz — Apollo 13 flight director (the one Ed Harris played in the movie) and MLB umpire Jim Joyce

(PennLive.com)

Noah Hamilin, defensive back

Clairton | PA

Chose UC over Temple, Iowa State, Toledo, and Boston College
In 2012, the Clairton Bears broke the Pennsylvania record for consecutive wins with 60. The streak lastest 66 games.
Seriously, the defensive backs UC got in this recruiting class are insane.

(Toledo Blade)

Coby Bryant, defensive back

Glenville | OH

Chose UC over Western Michigan, Marshall, and Buffalo
Younger brother of former Buckeye safety Christian Bryant
Graduating from the same high school as Steve Harvey, the creators of Superman, and Cardale Jones (the world’s best dinner party)
Has the best name in this recruiting class, and will help replace Mike Tyson in the secondary, which proves Cincinnati is untouchable when it comes to great names.